Meeting the Parents
by ChaosIsMyTrueLover
Summary: What happens when Roy's paents come for a visit? The answer might not be pretty.


Meeting the Parents

Rated M for: Language. Plain and simple. Kids love to say fuck.

For Kara, who had the idea in the first place

And finally, I don't won Ed or Roy. I guess I sort of own Fiona and Ronald, but I just came up with their characters. Kara had the idea to give Roy parents.

* * *

Fiona Mustang brushed a few strands of dark hair out of her eyes and sighed. She's been dreading this day ever since the announcement of her son Roy's engagement. Not that she wasn't overjoyed for him, but meetings between Roy and his father, Brigadier General Ronald Mustang, always went badly. The last time the two had gotten together was when Roy had just attained his State Alchemist license. Ronald had managed to make his grown son, a Major at that, completely lose it. Fiona had had to step in to keep her son from torching her husband. This time wasn't looking too different. For the entire train ride from Central all the General had done was put Roy down, saying how he should demand a transfer out of East City and wondering, in his words 'what tramp the boy's knocked up to make him marry her'. Now they were outside the door to Roy's house. Fiona raised her hand and knocked tentatively, half hoping Roy wouldn't hear. He didn't deserve this, and neither did his fiancé.

* * *

Roy was pacing when he heard his mother's knock. Immediately Ed went to open the door, but his lover stopped him, laying a hand on his shoulder.

"Better let me" he said quietly.

He'd told Ed about his parents. At first the younger man had been anxious to meet them, but the more Roy told the more discouraged Ed got. When Roy opened the door he was greeted by a sweet looking woman. Her black hair was streaked with grey and pulled back into a bun. Despite her age she was very pretty and petite. It was obvious where Roy got his good looks, because beside her was a rather fat man with a terrible mustache who Ed assumed was Roy's father. He was dressed in a military uniform that looked like it had been issued before the man had put on most of his weight. Ed recognized his rank as Brigadier General. While he surveyed the couple the woman pulled Roy into a tight embrace.

"Hello dear" she said "it's really been too long."

Roy smiled weakly at her.

"Hello Mum" he said, before turning his attention to his father. He saluted him smartly as though he was the Fuhrer himself, cuing Ed to do the same.

"Hello General Mustang."

"Colonel" the man said rather dismissively. Then he focused on Ed.

"Tell your servant he's dismissed, Roy." He ordered his son. It took Ed a second to realize the General was talking about him.

"Who you calling a servant!" he raged "don't you know who I am, you fat old freak!"

Roy when totally pale at Ed's words.

"I'm so sorry, General" he managed, bowing to the other and then holding Ed by the back of his coat to keep him form lunging at his father.

"You need to teach this little fellow his place, Roy."

"WHO YOU CALLING LITTLE, YOU…"

Roy clamped a hand over Ed's mouth before he could dig himself in any deeper. When he looked back at his father Roy's demeanor had changed completely.

"I believe you owe Major Elric an apology." He said curtly "it just so happens that he's a State Alchemist, and a damn fine one at that. Not to mention, he's the one you came here to meet."

"What do you mean? I didn't come here to meet some under grown kid, Alchemist or not."

"Edward is my fiancé."

Ronald was stopped in his tracks by that one. Ed watched with a certain horrible fascination as the fat man went from ghost pale to a deep shade of crimson in a matter of seconds.

"I hope you don't think this is funny, boy!" he raged "how dare you even joke about such things!"

"Oh, I assure you, General, it's no joke. Fullmetal and I are getting married next month, and there not a thing you can do about it."

Ronald got even redder is that was possible.

"Now then" he said evilly "Isn't that romantic. I came here thinking my son had knocked up some military whore and I find out he's a damn fag!" he pushed past his wife and slapped Roy as hard as he could. Roy's eyes narrowed.

"Actually I'm bi" he said matter-of-factly as though he hadn't just been slapped by his own father. "And I'm also the Flame Alchemist, so unless you want your next promotion to be getting turned to ash, I suggest you shut the fuck up."

"I won't be spoken to that way!" the other raged, lunging for Roy. His son was quicker though, and landed a punch to his father's fat stomach, sending him flying onto his similarly endowed rear end. Before Ed or Fiona knew what was happening the two men were on the ground in a human ball of flying fists. Ed hurried to Roy and tried to haul him up while the woman did the same for her husband.

"Ronald!" Fiona snapped "Sometimes I swear…you're just such…just such a bastard!" She slapped him at least as good as he had done to Roy earlier, which didn't help his bloody and obviously broken nose. Ed looked over at Roy. Already burses were becoming visible across his face. He stormed over to the General.

"No one, and I mean no one, hits my lover." He snapped. Ronald really wasn't much taller than him, so they were almost eye to eye. Before he knew what had hit him an automail fist collided with the side of his head sending him unconscious to the front lawn. Ed spat in distaste, wiping his hand on his coat as though it had been contaminated by touching such a foul creature.

"He could have you court-martialed for that" Fiona whispered horrified.

"Let him try. See what happens to people who fuck with my Roy."

Fiona swept Ed up in a tight hug.

"You're going to be a fine son in law!" she exclaimed.

* * *

When the three of them got back inside Ed immediately got some ice and wrapped it in a towel. Going back out into the living room he handed the makeshift icepack to Roy who gratefully held it to his eye. Fiona began examining him, even going so far as to take off his coat and shirt.

"My poor baby" she whispered "looks like that old fool really did some damage this time." She gently pressed a spot on her son's side and Roy hissed in pain.

"Just what I thought. Looks like you have a couple of bruised ribs." She looked over at Ed

"Go easy on him in the bedroom for a few nights." She said lightly. Ed blushed madly and Fiona laughed.

"Now I better go see to my pitiful excuse for a husband. You've got quite the fist there, Edward. He'll be out for some time yet, I'd say." She fluffed Roy's hair and gave his a quick kiss on top of his head before going back outside, giving the two of them some privacy.

As soon as she had gone Ed say down on the sofa next to Roy.

"I'm so sorry, Ed" Roy whispered pitifully. "He's always been like this. I'd hoped for once he'd be happy for me…for us, but I should have known better."

"Don't talk like that. He's just a stubborn old git. Your mother seems really nice though…I'm glad I got to meet her." He pulled Roy to him, careful not to upset any of his injuries. "And now I know where you get your good looks from." He added "I don't fancy women, but I'd say she's quite a looker."

Roy laughed.

"Yeah, sometimes I wonder how she's stayed married to such an ugly old man for so long." Then he turned serious again.

"You know if you marry me you'll be marrying into that pathetic family too."

"Roy, I don't care if your father was bloody Envy. I love you, no strings attached."

Roy sighed and pressed his head to Ed's chest. It only took him a few minutes to fall asleep, totally emotionally drained. About half and hour later Fiona came in, practically dragging her husband behind her. She smiled to see Roy sleeping so peacefully while Ronald glowered. Ed shot him a warning look and he quickly glanced away, not wanting another fist to his head.

* * *

The next day Fiona decided it was best to go home before another fight had the chance to start. Ed and Roy watched as her car drove away with Ronald sitting brooding in the passenger seat. When a month had passed she came back for the wedding, with the General nowhere in sight. It was revealed later that she had divorced him as quickly as possible after her first visit. She applauded the loudest of anyone when Roy and Ed kissed and after their first dance. No one objected when she caught the bouquet, only smiled fondly at the former military wife. After that Roy never mentioned his father, putting him even with Ed. But the younger Alchemist was sure to never forget the day he'd met Roy's parents. 


End file.
